I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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