Just fell off a train. Bad.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
