I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i came on her dog
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
