He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's no shave November. This is our time.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
