She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
