this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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