you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
