just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
