have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
