I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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