Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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