And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
