I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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