All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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