week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
