a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
