dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
