Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
