TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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