It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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