Someone shit on the floor
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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