Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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