Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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