im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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