her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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