We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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