David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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