Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
