I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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