There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
