Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
