heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
