My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's blow job season.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
