Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you had me at cake vodka
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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