Pregnant stripper...not hot.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
