I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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