all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I FOUND THE LEGS
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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