Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
