My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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