not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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