If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
