Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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