its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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