Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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