I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
