Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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