The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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