just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
