just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
