I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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