You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
