Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
