There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize