does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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