were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
