Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
