im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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