You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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