I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
