if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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